DRIVER: I am sorry valued customer but Domino's Pizza no longer honors the thirty minute guarantee anymore thirty minutes is just an estimate I apologize for the inconvenience.They're kidding, but speaking from experience, this is exactly how the conversation would go. Even when I delivered pizzas in 2002, I had to explain many times that we dropped our 30 minute guarantee in favor of our safe driving policy more than a decade ago, and everyone involved is better off for it.
[CUSTOMER LAUGHS. THERE IS AN AWKWARD SILENCE]
CUSTOMER: You're serious? What a f*cking crock, you expect me to pay for this? I just saw the ad on tv!
Apparently they have a history of bad ideas. When I first started working there in 2000, we had daily requests for Bad Andy merchandise. Bad Andy was the recently-canceled promotion featuring a stuffed monkey mascot who encouraged children to pour water on live electrical appliances:
Anyway, this 30 minute guarantee/catchphrase/whatever is unnecessary for a few reasons:
First of all, the vast majority of pizzas are delivered in under 40 minutes anyway. This does not include 6pm on Fridays, but what did you expect?
Second, customers do not care how long it takes as long as your estimate is accurate. If I'd say 20 and it took 30, they were almost always upset. If I'd say 45 and it took 45, they were pleased that I was right on time.
Finally, if they would focus on the quality of the finished product -- i.e., getting it to taste more like pizza and less like corrugated cardboard box it arrives in -- they wouldn't have to distract their customers with these irrelevant marketing ploys. Unfortunately, "Domino's Pizza: Excellent ingredients delivered right when we say it will be, or sooner!" just isn't catchy.