Wednesday, October 04, 2006

it was the BLURST of times?

The football team living with a rattlesnake pees on a thoroughly twisted scooby snack.

The spam that comes through our e-mail system is far more entertaining than it should be. I'm oddly fascinated by the algorithms and techniques spammers use for dumping prose into spam to circumvent content filters. There was a brief stretch last month where we received snippets of short stories from the 1920s and 1930s, but today's paper wins it all. Game over. Stop sending spam now.

If a nonchalantly incinerated insurance agent plays pinochle with an often fat tornado, then a scythe inside a dolphin gets stinking drunk.

This can't be by chance, can it? Adverbs and adjectives all work properly. I see dependent clauses and independent clauses and colons and conjunctions. Can writing this technically correct be produced by a program and an electronic dictionary?

Most people believe that the stovepipe can be kind to a satellite, but they need to remember how secretly a bartender inside a ball bearing hesitates.

It's pure word salad madness, but there's no way a human can distribute the madness so evenly.

Any bowling ball can figure out a financial spider, but it takes a real razor blade to seek a mating ritual.

Finally, this patriotic maxim:

The ball bearing, a bartender near a turn signal, and a ravishing eggplant are what made America great!

Amen!

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